Keeping it real!

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 This post is from a great gal that I have gotten to know just a little bit over the years and hope to get to know a lot better in the near future.  Sunnie is just as her name implies…..she is bright and full of life!  I am honored to share here thoughts on the past year of her life:

Keeping it REAL!

STOP READING right now if you think you might be offended by my personal information in my writings!
I write very personally about my body, my weight, and my struggles as well as my successes! 

So every Monday my sister Liz Michaud and I chat on the phone! She lives in Maine, and I am here in New Jersey, so it’s a pretty big deal for us to KNOW FOR CERTAIN that we are getting to chat at least once a week!

Being a diabetic, AND being on this JOURNEY TO HEALTH, I try to plan ahead as much as possible with what I am putting into my body! Operative word is “TRY!”

I planned to drive to Wawa and “treat” myself to a SMALL French Vanilla coffee and then grab a medium size banana…

Well, I completely crashed and burned!😞

I ended up getting a 24 ounce coffee that had all the sugars already in it…. yeah, I know…and then crashed and burned again by grabbing a BROWNIE instead of a BANANA…..

The food addict in me is ALIVE AND WELL it seems! 😞

In fact in these last two months, I have really made some very poor choices with eating out, or eating “IN” and when I went to my monthly Doc appointment…not only did I NOT LOOSE ANY WEIGHT, BUT I GAINED WEIGHT. 😮

Yeah…major SUCK FEST there! 👎👎👎

Sure, I could blame my weight gain on STRESS, or I could blame my weight gain on the need to travel to Maine to pick up my Mom, move her out of her apartment, load up all her earthly belongings, and move her into our home…..

I could blame my poor choices on not enough sleep, or too much sleep, or I could blame my weight gain on having been perpetually sick for over a month…..

Or I could blame my weight gain on trying to juggle being a wife to my husband, being a Mom to our daughter, and being a Grandmother to our little “Beans”….

Or I could blame not having enough “ME TIME”, or I could blame the weather being cold…..

Or I could blame it on our house being completely “Cray – Cray – Crazy” because we are trying to house our Son-in-Law, Daughter, & Grandbaby, PLUS now my Mom into a too tiny Rancher style home, and then trying to learn each others ways. Schedules, needs, desires…..

(Try having two grown men, three women and an infant use one bathroom!!!!!!)

Yes, I could EASILY blame any of these things for my….gulp….8 pound weight gain, but the bottom line is that I made every single choice on my own, and now I need to GET REAL, and GET WITH THE PROGRAM AGAIN!

To date, in one year (as of lastmonth) I have removed 86 pounds of fat from my body. 
Add back on the 8 pounds I put back onto my body through eating poor choices, so now it is 78 lbs that I have removed in one years time.
(Last month also marks 1 year since being hospitalized and possibly dying because of my really poor eating choices).
👎👎👎

Anyone who personally knows my family can do the math……yes, I was in the Hospital at Shore and Nyssa and Richie were awaiting the birth of their first child, but guess what, I was so self absorbed, and hell bent on my own self destruction, that I literally ATE MYSELF INTO THE HOSPITAL!
Some Mother I am! My daughter was round with that beautiful life growing inside of her, and I was beyond unhealthy, I had spent weeks eating absolute GARBAGE like Cheeze-its, Canned Chef-Boy-ardee (cold out of the can) as well as chocolates or anything else I could get my hands on.

I sat like a bump on a log and ate, watched TV, and slept.
True I was battling depression, but I put my life in Jeopardy, I nearly killed myself, AND I wasn’t worth the gun powder it would have taken to blow me up!
I wasn’t busy living….I was EXISTING!

THAT IS NO WAY TO LIVE! 
I WAS NOT LIVING. I WAS NOT THERE WHEN MY ANGEL GIRL NEEDED HER MOMMA THE MOST.
I WASN’T THERE FOR MY HUSBAND…HECK, I WAS JUST CHECKED OUT.

I still battle depression, and Have a tendency to “Cave” as my family calls it.

I battle with mental health issues, and put my poor family through hell on earth at times…many times…..

Now after all that….Im going to SHINE A LIGHT on all that by my policy of “NO SHAME” and keeping it real and holding myself accountable!

I am human…we all are! We all battle and struggle with issues…that is just how life is, but it is what we decide to DO with our lives, it is what we choose to DO with our lives!
I CHOOSE LIFE!
I CHOOSE MY HEALTH!
I CHOOSE MY FAMILY!

I CHOOSE CHRIST JESUS TO HEAL ME, HELP ME, AND LIFT ME UP OUT OF THE MUCK AND MIRE!

Do all my issues go “Poof!” And magically disappear?
Uh, no……HELL NO! But by shining a light on the darkness of my life, I am allowing Christ Jesus to shine brightly!

Am I perfect? Whoa Nelly…..
Thats a great big, fat, N…O….!

Being a Christian means I have given my life over to Jesus! I have accepted him into my heart and asked him to lead me and guide me…….

Will I make mistakes? 

Fall on my face?

FAIL at being a perfect Mom, 

Wife, 

Grandmother 

& Daughter?????

Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!

Well Sunnie, where in the Hell is the good news in that you may ask???????

I am not alone! I am walking through this world with Jesus at the helm!
Yes I will struggle, Yes, I will fail, but I will also win! I will win with keeping it REAL!

I will win with HONESTY, and holding myself ACCOUNTABLE before God and Man!

I have an AMAZING FAMILY! 
I adore my family!

I am LOVING being a Mother, and a Grandmother to Nyssa, Richie, and to our sweet Baby Stella!

They put the Joy in my step and a song in my heart!

As long as I keep, keeping it real, than satan cannot win! He cannot keep me bound in depression and mental illness!

Greater is he that is in me, than he that is in the world!
1 John 4:4

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One comment

  1. Praise you my sweet friend Sunnie! Putting Christ first in our lives definitely allows us to see, talk, walk and love in such a dynamic way! Oh!! did I forget praying… I thank you for sharing part of your journey. Many of us deal with struggles that can lead to the feelings that you mentioned but through the grace of God and standing on the rock magnificent miracles happen! God bless you and I will pray for you to stay out of the “sand”…with much love…Linda

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